‘I don’t have time for this bullsh*t!’ – How Real Madrid wanted Antonio Valencia but ended up signing Faubert

Having been preparing for a match towards the end of the transfer window, the Frenchman was sure a call from the Spanish giants was a wind up

Julien Faubert has revealed that he did not believe Real Madrid were interested in signing him when a representative first approached him, telling the club’s agent that he didn’t have time for his “bullsh*t” as he had an important match to prepare for with West Ham.

Faubert, a fan favourite at the Hammers’ former Boleyn Ground home due to his ability to play in multiple positions, spent five years in London, with a short loan spell at Madrid sandwiched in between in the second half of the 2008-09 season.

The man affectionately known as ‘The Express Train’ was actually Los Blancos’ second choice after former Manchester United captain Antonio Valencia, but Faubert was not fazed by that fact and was all too happy to relocate after some initial disbelief.

“We were on the team bus making our way to Upton Park to play Fulham,” the 36-year-old recalled in an interview with The Athletic. “I received a call from this French guy at Real Madrid and he said to me, ‘Hi, I work for Real Madrid and we have to talk to you.’ 

“I told him I have an important game to prepare for and I don’t have time for this bullsh*t. I switched off my phone, we played the game and after the match I switched on my phone and saw around 30 text messages and 50 voicemails. That’s when I knew it was serious. 

“So I called my manager and he said to me we have to talk with Real Madrid because they are in a hotel at Heathrow. It was the last day of the transfer window and we went there and started to negotiate.

“I had many feelings but I was happy — it’s Real Madrid, you know? When I realised it wasn’t fake I was praying for the negotiations to go well. They actually wanted Antonio Valencia but he signed for Manchester United [at the end of that season], so I was the second choice. 

“When the deal was completed I came back to collect some of my stuff at West Ham and me and some of the guys started laughing. They were like, ‘Julien, do you realise where you are? It’s bloody Real Madrid.’ 

“I remember Mark Noble kept ignoring me and I was like, ‘Mark, what’s the problem?’ He said, ‘Julien I can’t talk to you, you’re a Real Madrid player. You’re higher than me.’ So there was a lot of banter.”

In the end, Faubert was not afforded much playing time at the Santiago Bernabeu, and his spell in the Spanish capital was further marred by hitting the headlines for seemingly falling asleep on the bench. To this day, though, he insists that was not the case.

“When I was on the bench I closed my eyes for about 30 seconds and they thought I was p*ssed off because I wasn’t playing and they said, ‘OK, this guy is sleeping.’ The president said I need to be careful because there are photographers and cameras everywhere. 

“I definitely learned a lot from that experience.”

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